life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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