make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
