I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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