Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
