i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
