The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
