hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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