Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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