the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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