How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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