I hate your face
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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