You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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