Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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