I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize