Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
