i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
