Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
