all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
