this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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