perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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