You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
whose parrot is this?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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