literally had 100 drinks last night.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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