I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
