I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
