So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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