6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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