i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
As shirtless as possible
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
