I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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