we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
