Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
