I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
