dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
