i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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