If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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