Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
