Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
