she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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