Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize