i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
