Don't make out with my wife yet
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
