Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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