She's JV to your varsity
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
