is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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