is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
