i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
