I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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