good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
