Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize