I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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