Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
