This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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