My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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