so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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