You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
