I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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