The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
