No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
