Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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