Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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