i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
