you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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