Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
