with your own penis?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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