I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
