theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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